It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
