I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
