yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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