whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
