He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We had sex on a dog bed..
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
