you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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