I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's no shave November. This is our time.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize