Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize