I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
