Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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