dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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