Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
50% drunk capacity currently
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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