Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
