My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
