My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
