That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
