I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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