i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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