what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
