I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
