I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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