i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
