I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
