I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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