Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize