im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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