Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
