doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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