White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
