but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize