I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
