Got a toothbrush?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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