Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The uberlube is also flammable
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
