Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
