i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
