Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
