Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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