Please, let me fuck your mom
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
