now i know why i became what i already was.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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