at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
