The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
