Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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