your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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