Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
