that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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