I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
