I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Let's paint friendship bongs
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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