new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
