He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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