Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
