i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
