How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
