when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize