Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
where are you?
Hypothermia
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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