hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
