Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I bet he comes in French.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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