He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
