I hate all girls vehemently.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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