just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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