D3 body, D1 cock
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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