Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
