And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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