He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
